You have to take the Good with the Bad

So, after years of problems, testing and just feeling like I was never going to find any answers I finally got the answers I was hoping for, the only thing is that these answers were really not comforting at all.  The moment my doctor said the word, "Hysterectomy", I became numb, dazed, a little worried. After all, I am only 31. But considering my family history of early hysterectomy's I should have been at least a little prepared for this outcome. It doesn't make me feel any better though, and the more I think about it, the more anxiety I feel towards it!

 I know that I will probably feel so much better after it is done, physically, but mentally I feel like it will take me awhile to get used to the fact that I will no longer be able to bare children, which seems like a really dumb thought considering my husband has already had a vasectomy and we don't plan to have anymore kids. But there is that lingering thought that I will feel like less of a woman when I go through this.

 I should be a little relieved though, considering the daily struggles I face with the symptoms surrounding my endometriosis, just the other day all I wanted to do was lay in bed because the pain was unbearable, and I knew that getting up and moving around would make it worse. I have days like that, good days and bad days and I never really know when I will have a bad day.  But if you think about it, we all have those days, those days where you think you cannot possibly make it through, but you do, you get through it, and it makes it a little easier to believe you can endure and get through another bad day.  

 So instead of laying there, I got up and got on with my day, maybe it's the Mom in me that refuses to miss out on my daily Mommy duties of getting the kids ready, to school, volunteering at their school or getting things done around the house that drives me to endure those bad days, even though I have an amazing husband that is very quick to pick up the slack for me if he is needed. Whatever the reason is that gives me the drive to push through, I am lucky to have it.  

 With that being said, even though this next big adventure I am about to embark on may be scary and unknown, I am ready for it for the most part and my hope is that it gets rid of my physical ailments so that I can have even more good days ahead!


Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Back to school and back to the everyday hectic awesomeness!

It is funny, we spend the last few weeks of the summer impatiently waiting for school to start, yet we get a few weeks in and cannot wait for a break from the everyday hustle and bustle!  The last few weeks have been a work in progress, getting used to new schedules and teachers and new activities and getting geared up for Scouts this year while both girls caught and are currently getting over a virus that seems to be going around! I guess that put a monkey wrench in our plans for perfect attendance this year. Oh well, we will just have to find something else to strive for!   Hoping that once everyone gets used to our new schedules this year things will calm down a bit and I might get that chance to sit down, relax and just have some time to think. Who am I kidding, I don't know how to just sit and relax, I can't help but be productive in one way or another!  Hoping for an awesome school year and lots of new adventures!
Read more

"I can do it myself, Mommy."

The one sentence that can break a Mommy's heart instantly!   Lately my 6 year old has been branching out and testing her independence.    This morning while getting ready for school I went and got all the stuff to do her hair and sat down, she looks at me and says, "I don't need that, I can do it myself!".  Umm, I always do her hair in the morning, it's my thing....how dare she try and do it herself! My heart was slightly broken, but I let her do her own hair, she did a pretty good job too. I was proud of her for that, but deep down, I was a little upset, it is one less thing that I am needed for.     A little while later after getting to the school, we got out of the car and I was going to walk into the office to get my sticker to enter the building when she says, "I can walk myself to class today, Mommy." Just then I felt like I had been punched in the gut......it is one thing to do her own hair, but walking herself to class....there has to be a ...
Read more

Post Hysterectomy Recovery and thoughts.

Hello everyone! I am happy to be on the other side of this surgery!  My surgery was on February 25th, 2015, so I am now 2 weeks + Post-op, and for the most part I feel pretty good! I will take you through my surgery and recovery so far. The morning of my surgery was interesting, I really thought that I would be a nervous wreck, but I wasn't.  I am not sure if it was due to lack of sleep the night before, or that I had finally made peace with my decision, but I felt pretty confident that morning. My husband and I woke up at 4 a.m. and I had to scrub with Antibacterial soap before heading to the hospital.  Once there, I was signed in, given 3 arm bands and assigned a nurse who did my prep. She was very nice and informative about how the morning would go and what I could expect. I get some really fancy compression stockings and they also put some other things on my legs that simulates movement to keep my blood flowing and avoid clots. She started my IV and gave me s...
Read more