Dear Momma
So, it's taken me all day to find the words to say. Usually I would be sharing your picture and posting an "I miss you" message on Facebook. But today felt different, today felt like the day that I should say exactly how I feel.
People always say that time heals all wounds, and that it gets better. And as much as I appreciate that sentiment, it has not rang true for me. It doesn't get better, it gets easier to manage the pain of the loss that I feel, but it doesn't get better. Today marks another birthday that you should have shared with us. So many emotions go into this day. It takes me back to the last birthday we shared with you, in 2008, I made you a cake, and we came over, you were so happy, full of life and you had hopes of feeling better. I was pregnant, and you were so excited to be a Maw-Maw again! I had no clue that would be the last birthday we would celebrate with you. And while life does go on, your absence is felt at every Christmas, New Years, Birthday, Thanksgiving, School play, Dance recital, Basketball game...You name it, we wish you were here. Even on the odd days when we are just sitting around, you are missed!
I miss your smile, laugh. I definitely miss your goofy antics, the booty dancing was a favorite, Lol!
I've gotten a lot of questions over the years, about my kids in general, if I was like that when I was their age, or where they get this or that from. And I don't have most of those answers, you do. Granted, Shelby resembles you greatly, so there is very little secret to where she gets that crazy, thick and curly, hair from!
I wish I could call just to ask you. I wish you were close enough to just stop by when I need to talk to you about how to handle a pre-teen meltdown. How to raise two girls who seemingly want to rip each others hair out one day, and love each other the next. Or just to have coffee and chat about everyday life. I miss Brandy Wine and Spades. I miss you watering the fake plant for months before you realized it wasn't real. I miss when you would come stay the weekend and we would sit around and watch movies and talk about old times, and laugh hysterically about nothing in particular. I miss when you would use a whole entire pack of swiffer sweeper pads in one day and then call Ken to bring home a new pack, because, even though we told you a thousand times, you didn't realize they were meant for light cleaning and not to pick up dog hair. I miss all of that, and then some. I miss YOU!
It really isn't fair. You had so much more to experience.
You should be here.
Happy Birthday Momma, you are missed beyond measure.
I had so much more to write, but it's hard to see the screen through the tears. I love you Momma!
People always say that time heals all wounds, and that it gets better. And as much as I appreciate that sentiment, it has not rang true for me. It doesn't get better, it gets easier to manage the pain of the loss that I feel, but it doesn't get better. Today marks another birthday that you should have shared with us. So many emotions go into this day. It takes me back to the last birthday we shared with you, in 2008, I made you a cake, and we came over, you were so happy, full of life and you had hopes of feeling better. I was pregnant, and you were so excited to be a Maw-Maw again! I had no clue that would be the last birthday we would celebrate with you. And while life does go on, your absence is felt at every Christmas, New Years, Birthday, Thanksgiving, School play, Dance recital, Basketball game...You name it, we wish you were here. Even on the odd days when we are just sitting around, you are missed!
I miss your smile, laugh. I definitely miss your goofy antics, the booty dancing was a favorite, Lol!
I've gotten a lot of questions over the years, about my kids in general, if I was like that when I was their age, or where they get this or that from. And I don't have most of those answers, you do. Granted, Shelby resembles you greatly, so there is very little secret to where she gets that crazy, thick and curly, hair from!
I wish I could call just to ask you. I wish you were close enough to just stop by when I need to talk to you about how to handle a pre-teen meltdown. How to raise two girls who seemingly want to rip each others hair out one day, and love each other the next. Or just to have coffee and chat about everyday life. I miss Brandy Wine and Spades. I miss you watering the fake plant for months before you realized it wasn't real. I miss when you would come stay the weekend and we would sit around and watch movies and talk about old times, and laugh hysterically about nothing in particular. I miss when you would use a whole entire pack of swiffer sweeper pads in one day and then call Ken to bring home a new pack, because, even though we told you a thousand times, you didn't realize they were meant for light cleaning and not to pick up dog hair. I miss all of that, and then some. I miss YOU!
It really isn't fair. You had so much more to experience.
You should be here.
Happy Birthday Momma, you are missed beyond measure.
I had so much more to write, but it's hard to see the screen through the tears. I love you Momma!
Comments
Post a Comment