Some people are just negative, and it has nothing to do with you.
Something that has been on my mind lately, the negativity of others.
It seems like everywhere you look, there's this conflict or that conflict. People just seem to want to be hateful, for no real good reason.
This past week, I have been on the receiving end of someones hatefulness. There was no reason for it, they assumed I'd wronged them without actually looking at the facts of the situation. Even after I told them that I did not do what they claimed I'd done. I was called a liar for standing up for myself. And when the facts were brought to light, that I actually didn't wrong them, that the situation they were facing had nothing to do with me at all really, they still continue to carry around hateful feelings towards me.
What I have learned from this situation is that when someone hates or says they hate you, they don't actually hate you, they hate who they think you are. In the midst of this new accusation, I've also had things that they thought I did 10 years ago shoved in my face. Were these things true? Nope, not really, they are things they assumed I did, just like with the current accusation. And you know what they say about assumptions, right?! Lol. They are things they have obviously stewed over for 10 years. Which made me realize, they still have strong feelings about that time in my life, but I have moved so far past it with a clean conscience, that I didn't realize. So, their bitterness towards me, has nothing to do with me, it's their issue that they need to work through.
The thing is, they wanted to make me feel bad, but guess what? It didn't work. You see, they knew me 10 years ago, but I have grown a lot since then and they cannot accept the fact that I am not who they think I am, or that they have no reason to hate me after all because they don't really even know me anymore. There could be a million reasons why they choose to be bitter towards me, but it has nothing to do with me.
So, they continue to spread old rumors and continue to talk badly about me and my character, because they have nothing else to go on, because I am not the person they claim that I am, and the people who really know me, know that. So, once again, it has nothing to do with me, those are their feelings, not my reality.
I did my best to defend myself in this situation, but it only fueled them more, they claimed, that by me defending myself, I was the one starting drama, regardless of the fact that they were the ones who drove me to feel the need to defend myself. Watch out for people like that, the ones who try to deflect blame, you can't argue with them, because they don't see the issue with their actions. They'd already talked so badly about me to everyone that, even though, they found out they were wrong, they couldn't take back what they said, because that would mean admitting to everyone that they made a mistake. Some people do not know how to apologize and take responsibility for themselves, and that has nothing to do with you.
Forgive them anyway.
It seems like everywhere you look, there's this conflict or that conflict. People just seem to want to be hateful, for no real good reason.
This past week, I have been on the receiving end of someones hatefulness. There was no reason for it, they assumed I'd wronged them without actually looking at the facts of the situation. Even after I told them that I did not do what they claimed I'd done. I was called a liar for standing up for myself. And when the facts were brought to light, that I actually didn't wrong them, that the situation they were facing had nothing to do with me at all really, they still continue to carry around hateful feelings towards me.
What I have learned from this situation is that when someone hates or says they hate you, they don't actually hate you, they hate who they think you are. In the midst of this new accusation, I've also had things that they thought I did 10 years ago shoved in my face. Were these things true? Nope, not really, they are things they assumed I did, just like with the current accusation. And you know what they say about assumptions, right?! Lol. They are things they have obviously stewed over for 10 years. Which made me realize, they still have strong feelings about that time in my life, but I have moved so far past it with a clean conscience, that I didn't realize. So, their bitterness towards me, has nothing to do with me, it's their issue that they need to work through.
The thing is, they wanted to make me feel bad, but guess what? It didn't work. You see, they knew me 10 years ago, but I have grown a lot since then and they cannot accept the fact that I am not who they think I am, or that they have no reason to hate me after all because they don't really even know me anymore. There could be a million reasons why they choose to be bitter towards me, but it has nothing to do with me.
So, they continue to spread old rumors and continue to talk badly about me and my character, because they have nothing else to go on, because I am not the person they claim that I am, and the people who really know me, know that. So, once again, it has nothing to do with me, those are their feelings, not my reality.
I did my best to defend myself in this situation, but it only fueled them more, they claimed, that by me defending myself, I was the one starting drama, regardless of the fact that they were the ones who drove me to feel the need to defend myself. Watch out for people like that, the ones who try to deflect blame, you can't argue with them, because they don't see the issue with their actions. They'd already talked so badly about me to everyone that, even though, they found out they were wrong, they couldn't take back what they said, because that would mean admitting to everyone that they made a mistake. Some people do not know how to apologize and take responsibility for themselves, and that has nothing to do with you.
Forgive them anyway.
At the end of the day, no matter how good of a person you are, there will always be someone who doesn't see the good in you, simply because they don't want to. And that has nothing to do with you.
I read a quote recently which really helped get me through this situation with a positive outlook, it read:
"When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did." -Jill Blakeway
I am going to take that quote with me from now on, for when/if this situation comes up again. I spent so much time over the weekend trying to defend myself, when I should have just sat back and let it be. I should have trusted that eventually, the truth would prevail, as it did.
The moral of this story is, don't let someones opinion of you make you doubt yourself, because we are not what other people say we are, we are who we know ourselves to be. Another quote that stuck with me, by Laverne Cox.
I hope that by posting this, it will be a stepping stone for someone else who is on the receiving end of the bitterness of others.
~Supermom
I read a quote recently which really helped get me through this situation with a positive outlook, it read:
"When a toxic person can no longer control you, they will try to control how others see you. The misinformation will feel unfair, but stay above it, trusting that other people will eventually see the truth, just like you did." -Jill Blakeway
I am going to take that quote with me from now on, for when/if this situation comes up again. I spent so much time over the weekend trying to defend myself, when I should have just sat back and let it be. I should have trusted that eventually, the truth would prevail, as it did.
The moral of this story is, don't let someones opinion of you make you doubt yourself, because we are not what other people say we are, we are who we know ourselves to be. Another quote that stuck with me, by Laverne Cox.
I hope that by posting this, it will be a stepping stone for someone else who is on the receiving end of the bitterness of others.
~Supermom
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